On July 18th, Emma’s father got offered a new job. Mom, Dad, and Emma had to move to Raleigh on August 1st. Emma had spent her entire 15 years of life in Wilmington, so she had no idea what to expect from a new city.

When the family arrives at the new house in Raleigh, the first thing Emma notices is that there is no cabinet to the left of the stove. “MOM!” Emma screams. “The cups have to go to the left of the stove. In the old house, the cups went on the left of the stove. We need to find a new house.”

       “Emma, we will get through this,” her mother replies.

       A week later, Emma prepares for her first day at her new school. “Dad, I don’t wanna go.”

       “Remember, take it day by day,” her father says.

       Emma’s new school, Broward High School, has over 2,000 students. In Wilmington, she went to a small private school called Berkeley Prep that only had about 500 students total. At Berkeley, everyone had grown up together since pre-school. The hallways at Broward are crowded, which Emma hates because people bump into her between classes.

To help her adjust to her first week at her new school, Emma meets with her new therapist, Katie, every day. When they first met, Emma immediately says, “Your voice is funny. Where are you from?”

       Katie replies, “Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I lived there until I came to NC State for college.”

Emma said, “Hm. I have never been to Wisconsin, but I know their state flower is the Wood violet and state tree is the sugar maple.”

       “So, you like plants, huh?” asks Katie.

       “I love them. My favorite is a cactus that grows in the mountains of Bolivia and Argentina. The scientific name is Cleistocactus strausii, but no one can pronounce that so they just call it the Silver Torch Cactus. I like it because it is not what you would expect from a cactus. I think people are like that, too. We aren’t always what you expect.” Emma says, sort of surprised that she opened up like that to Katie.

       When she gets home from her therapy session on the fourth day of school, Emma says to her mom, “I miss Lauren. I want to move back to Wilmington.”

       Her mother replies, “I thought you said the session went well? Honey, it will take time, but you will get used to Katie. She seems really nice and helpful.” 

       “Fine,” Emma says and stomps up to her room to check on her plants. “Ow!” Emma screams as she yanks her finger away from her cactus. Her mother dashes into her olive-green painted bedroom and cries, “What’s wrong sweetie?”

       “I pricked my left pinky finger on Cassie,” Emma replies. Cassie is Emma’s pincushion cactus. Sometimes she names her plants because she does not have many friends at her new school.

       “Remember what Gram Gram always said,” her mother says.

       Emma imitates Gram Gram’s Chicago accent, “If you prick yourself, honey, learn to patch it up and keep moving.” When Emma was five years old, Gram Gram taught her how to grow plants. Her grandmother was a gardener until she died three years ago. Gram Gram always said that Emma got her green thumb from her, but Emma never really understood what that meant.

       Emma walks over to her bookshelf and pulls out the The Encyclopedia of Plants and Flowers. She opens to the first page and reads to herself her grandmother’s perfect cursive: “Happy 10th birthday, Emma. This book gives information about every known plant species in the world. I hope it treats you as well as it has treated me. I love you. Love always, Gram Gram.” Emma smiles as she reminisces on time spent gardening with her grandmother.

       Then, Emma opens the book to page 235, the entry on Cleistocactus strausii. “Mom, did you know that the Silver Torch Cactus can grow up to 10 feet tall?”

       “Yes, sweetie. You have told me that once or twice,” Mom replies.

       Emma has been trying to make friends for months at her new school but has had little success. “Dad, it is hard when these people haven’t known me my whole life like the people at Berkeley. It’s always so loud in the hallways at Broward. I hate when people bump into me,” she whines.

       “Emma, you will make friends. Just be yourself, and people will value that,” her father replies.

       “Why did I have to start sophomore year? Everyone seemed to have already developed their friend groups freshman year, so I feel like I am left out,” Emma says.

       “You can do this, Emma. Just imagine Gram Gram cheering you on every day.”

       Today, Kyle Friar and his jock friends whisper and point at Emma between classes. “I’m pretty sure they think my headphones are funny,” Emma thinks. “I love my headphones, though, because they help me escape all the commotion of the world around me.”

At her therapy session on September 30th, Emma talks about the next day. “I love October. It is my second favorite month behind November because November is my birthday month. My birthday is November 2nd. I also love October because it is a time of transition between seasons. That’s how I feel about my life right now. I’m in between remembering my old life in Wilmington while trying to make a new life and new friends here in Raleigh.”

       October started on a Monday. Mondays are usually everyone’s least favorite day of the week, but Emma was excited and hopeful on October 1st. Her goal for October 1st was to try to make at least one new friend. On her way to school this morning, mom says something that I Emma ruminates on throughout the day. Mom says, “Be brave, Emma. Don’t forget who you are.”

       Emma’s first attempt at friendship today was with Janie Humphries in first period biology class. Janie is one of the “cool” girls in the sophomore class. Her long, golden hair shines in the fluorescent classroom lights, and her sapphire eyes sparkle whenever she wears blue. All of the boys think she is beautiful (Emma wonders to herself if any boys think she am beautiful). Janie and Emma both have blonde hair, so Emma thought maybe that would give me a good shot at being her friend. Boy, was she wrong.

       “Hey, Janie. How was your weekend?” Emma asks. Janie quickly turned around to talk to her boyfriend, John Bartow, and left Emma in the dust. John laughed in Emma’s face and said, “Stop being so awkward, Finkley.” Her stomach dropped. Unlike the Silver Torch, Janie and John are exactly what Emma expected. What a horrible way to start the day.

       Next thing Emma knew, Mrs. Leiman was teaching about mitosis. She spent the entire class ruminating on her failure, and she did not hear much of anything Mrs. Leiman said. Emma thinks to herself, “At least I have an A in the class” but makes a mental note to review what they covered in class later when she gets home.  

       In third period English, Emma always sits at the desk next to Leslie O’Neill. The two girls have never actually talked, but Emma loves her purple-trimmed glasses and her black Converse. Purple is Emma’s second favorite color behind olive green. One time before class, Emma saw Leslie reading a book about gardening, so she thought maybe they had something in common.

Today, she finally musters up the courage to speak to Leslie. “Hey, Leslie. Uh, I don’t know if you know my name, but I am Emma Finkley.”

       “Hi, Emma. Nice to actually meet you,” Leslie says.

       Emma smiles and says, “One time I saw you with a book about gardening and I was just wondering if you know how to garden.”

       Leslie replies, “I love it! I have I’m actually in the gardening club here at school. Have you ever heard of it?”

       “No! I did not know that. How in the world have I not heard of this club? What do you do there?” Emma says.

       Leslie says, “We talk about different plants and work on growing some of our own. The club meets every Thursday at lunch in Mrs. Leiman’s room. You should come on Thursday.”

       “I definitely will try it out. Thanks, Leslie.” The conversation is cut off by Mr. Hines announcing a pop quiz on Macbeth.  

       Emma switches her books out at her locker after fourth period, she sees brown hair in the corner of her eye. She whipped around as quickly as I could and to her surprise, Leslie is standing there. “Hey, Emma. Would you want to see with me and my friends at lunch today?”

       “Sure,” Emma responds, trying to act cool. On the inside, she was screaming of joy. After fifth period, she races to the cafeteria with her green lunchbox in tow. Emma spots Leslie sitting with Amanda Connor and Lindsay Asher, and Leslie waves at Emma. She scampers over to their table and plops down next to Leslie. Emma pulls out her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and starts eating. This was the first time she has not eaten lunch alone all school year. “I am making progress,” Emma thinks to herself.

       After the girls make some small talk about classes and the weather, Amanda asks Emma about how her first few months at Broward are going.

       “Well… not very well, honestly. I mean, I am doing great in my classes, but I have not made any friends,” Emma replies.

       “Hey!” Leslie exclaims. “We are your friends now.”

       Lindsay then says, “So, Emma. I heard that you have autism. What exactly does that mean?”

       Emma tries to explain what it is and that it doesn’t make me any lesser of a person. “I’m just a little different.”

       “My younger cousin Kelly has autism. She is one of my favorite people in the world,” Leslie whispers to Emma, which makes her smile. The three girls did not seem to judge Emma based on her autism, which made her feel special.

       The girls move to another subject: Broward High’s annual fall festival. Amanda starts blabbering on and on about what the festival is and how great it is. “I have never heard of it,” Emma says.

       “Members of the senior class set up booths to fundraise for their graduation trip to New York. Everyone goes to it. It is so much fun,” responds Lindsay.

       “Emma, you should come with us! It is November 2nd,” Leslie says.

       Emma replies, “That’s my birthday. Will there be cake?”

       “If funnel cake counts, then yes,” Lindsay says.

       “Okay, I am in,” Emma confirms. She starts a mental countdown for November 2nd, both her birthday and the fall festival. Only 32 more days.

       “Also, Emma, you should start eating with us every day,” Leslie says.

       “I would love to,” Emma agrees as the bell rings. “I will see you guys tomorrow.”

       When Emma’s mom picks her up from school, Emma is bursting with joy. “Wow, you seem excited,” her mother says.

“I am. Today, I made not only one, but three, friends. They treat me like I am a normal person. I accomplished my goal, so this was the best day ever,” Emma blurts.

       On Thursday, Emma decides to go to gardening club at lunch. She brings her lunch box with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Chex Mix, and a banana to Mrs. Leiman’s room. There are fourteen people there, including Leslie, Lindsay, and Amanda. She sat down next to her friends and starts to eat her lunch.

       “Welcome, everyone,” Mrs. Leiman says to start the club off. “Today, we will be talking about interesting plants. If anyone would like to share, please raise your hand.”

       Mrs. Leiman calls on Bonnie Cramer, and she gets up to the front of the room. She tells about Dionaea muscipula (the Venus flytrap) and how it eats insects. Next, Paula Rodriguez speaks about Titan arum, a plant that smells like a corpse to avoid being eaten.

       After a few more people share, Emma feels comfortable enough to speak. She nervously stumbles up to the front of the room. “Um, hi. This is my first time at the club. I am Emma Finkley.” Mrs. Leiman welcomes her.

       “Has anyone ever heard of the Silver Torch Cactus?” Emma asks the club. Only one girl raises her hand. “Well,” Emma says, “It is my favorite plant. Let me tell you why.” She explains about this fuzzy cactus to the club, and everyone is mesmerized.

        Emma recites, “The Silver torch has small white, spines all over it, which make it look fuzzy. Because of this, some people call it the Wooly Torch Cactus, but I like Silver Torch better. During the summer, it grows red flowers that are absolutely beautiful. The flowers grow horizontally. I think this is awesome because it is different than other cacti.

       “The cactus itself can grow to be up to 10 feet tall. Another cool thing about the Silver Torch is that it grows in high, cold mountains in Bolivia and Argentina. It usually grows in altitudes above 9,843 feet, but some people try to grow them in America. This usually doesn’t work out very well). Most cacti don’t like cold climates, but this cactus can withstand temperatures as cold as 14 degrees Fahrenheit. I will bring photos of it next week to show you guys.”

       Leslie smiles because she can tell that Emma feels like she really belongs here. ‘Everyone in the club is so welcoming to Emma,” Leslie thinks. After one meeting, Emma can tell that gardening club was going to become the highlight of my weekly routine.

       After school, Emma boasts to her mom about her day. “Gardening club was amazing, Mom! It was fun getting to talk about a shared interest. The club gave me small place at this huge school that I felt comfortable talking.” Emma’s mother could not stop smiling.

“Also, I am happy that the meetings are on Thursdays because it is something to look forward to after my therapy sessions on Wednesday,” Emma adds.

       At Emma’s second gardening club meeting, there is a new person there. She always notices when things change around her. This new person is a red-haired, freckled boy named Joseph Thompson. He is easily over six feet tall, which makes him over a foot taller than five-feet-and-half-an-inch-tall Emma Finkley. “Joseph is now officially the first boy in the club,” Mrs. Leiman announces.

       When he walks in the room, Emma feels this unusual feeling in the pit of her stomach that she is not exactly sure about. “I have only ever felt like this before when I was nervous. This is precisely how I felt on my first day at Broward. Why was I feeling like this?” Emma thinks. She makes a mental note to do some research later about this feeling.

       At the end of gardening club, Emma pulls Leslie aside. “Joseph is really cute. I was too scared to talk to Joseph today, though.”

       Leslie says, “You should try talking to him next week. He seems really nice and friendly.”

       When Emma gets home from school, I immediately opened up my laptop and went to Google. It turns out that people call this weird feeling in your stomach “butterflies.” Emma does not really like metaphors because they are hard for her to decipher. “Why not just say exactly what you mean? I think that would make the world an easier place to live in,” Emma thinks. Emma reads that sometimes these butterflies come from being nervous or liking someone romantically. “So, either Joseph makes me nervous or I like him. Maybe a little bit of both…” Emma says out loud to herself.

       The next week at gardening club, Emma wears a shirt with a Silver Torch Cactus on the front that her mom got her for her birthday last year. Joseph walks in and immediately sits next to Emma. She was not expecting this, and she gets so surprised and giddy. Emma tries to hide this and act cool, but Joseph can tell she is nervous.

       “Hi. I’m Joseph Thompson,” he says and holds out his hand to Emma.

       Emma pulls her hand away and replies, “I don’t really like when people touch me, but I am Emma Finkley.”

       “Can I call you Fink for short?” he asks. Emma smiles at the fact that he wants to give her a nickname. “We both have freckles, so I think that means we are destined to be friends,” he adds. Emma’s nose crinkles from grinning so much.

       After club, Emma and Joseph continue their conversation. She learns that he is also in Mrs. Leiman’s biology class, but he has it second period while Emma has it first period.

       “I am a little bit confused about what we are learning right now. Maybe we could study together for our next exam?” Joseph asks.

       Joseph says Emma could come over to his house on Saturday at 10:30. He scrawls his address- 1734 Huckabee Lane- on a scrap of paper and hands it to Emma as the bell rings. “See you later, Fink.”

       “Bye, Joseph!” Emma screams as he races to his next class.

       This whole interaction made Emma wonder if he is interested in her. “Why is this handsome boy talking to me, Emma Finkley? And does he know that I have autism? I don’t want him to think I am weird,” Emma thinks. “Anyway, Joseph talked to me, which was amazing. My Silver Torch shirt was now my lucky shirt.”

       Emma rushes to her geometry class and plops down as the late bell rings. She tries to pay attention to Mr. Simmons, but all she can think about is Saturday. Only 45 hours until she can spend more time with Joseph.

       On Saturday at exactly 10:29 AM, Emma’s mother pulls up to 1734 Huckabee Lane to find a quaint brick house. She kisses Emma on the cheek, and Emma hops out of the car. “Have fun, sweetie,” she utters as Emma closes the passenger door of her mother’s black Honda CRV. She strolls up to the Thompson’s front door and rings the doorbell as Mom drove away. She tries to control her nervous, shaking hands. A tall, pale woman with short, blonde hair opened the door to greet me.

       “You must be Emma. I am Joseph’s mother, Candice,” she states as she ushers Emma in. Mrs. Thompson brings Emma to a large room that she calls the “study,” where Joseph is sitting at a dark wooden desk.

       He hops up and reaches out his arms to show Emma the room. He looks as if he is selling a new car. “Hey, Fink!” Joseph exclaims. “Step in to my office.”

       “Wow, he is so funny and always makes me laugh,” Emma thinks to herself. The two instantly crack down on studying, but Emma keeps wanting to talk to him and learn more about him.

       Eventually, Emma and Joseph take a study break and started talk about personal things. Emma usually does not open up to people very easily, but this just feels different to her. She learns that Joseph also came to Broward this year and has had trouble making friends, too. It makes her feel good to not be the only one that was having a hard time fitting in.

       Joseph later asks Emma what my goals in life are, and her immediate response is, “I want to be me just the way I am.” After this, she realizes that he probably meant what did she want to do with her career. To Emma’s surprise, he replies, “I like who you are, Fink.” Her face turns as red as a tomato. The whole day, he never asks about her autism.

       “He makes me feel ordinary yet extraordinary. I think he actually likes me. I have never felt like this before,” Emma thinks. Those butterflies start coming back and fluttering around in her stomach. When Emma leaves the Thompson’s house, she is elated.

       On November 2nd, Amanda, Leslie, Lindsay, and Emma meet up at the fall festival at the football field at school. When the girls arrive, they immediately start singing happy birthday to Emma. She can’t help but to smile and think how lucky she is to have such supportive and amazing friends. At the festival, they visit virtually every booth. They eat candied apples, play pin the tail on the donkey, and go on a hay ride. The four of them have no worries in the world except which booth they would visit next.

       When they get around to the cotton candy booth, Emma spots Joseph holding a succulent in a beautiful clay pot. She had no clue he would be at the festival. Leslie gives Emma googly eyes, and the girls slip away to another booth. Joseph runs up to Emma and wrapped his arms around her. Even though Emma usually does not like being touched, this feels comfortable for her. “I couldn’t imagine not seeing you today! I got you this for your birthday,” he says as he hands her the plant.

       “Joseph, this is the sweetest thing. Thank you so much,” Emma replies as she admires the succulent.

       “Fink, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to hang out with you more,” he says.

       “I want to hang out with you, too.” Emma says.

       “We have school off next Friday for Veterans Day, and my parents and I are going to my aunt’s beach house in Wrightsville. You should come with us,” Joseph says.

       “Are you serious? I would love to. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home and call you after,” Emma says.

       “She looks excited,” Joseph thinks. “I can’t wait to spend time with her.”

       When Emma gets home from the festival, she immediately asks her parents about going to the beach with the Thompsons for the weekend. “I suppose that is fine,” her father replies. “As long as you get your schoolwork done before then. What do you think, honey?

       “I think it is a great idea. It will be a fun trip,” her mother adds.

       “Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, Mom and Dad. You guys are the best,” Emma states. She runs to the phone to call Joseph and tell him the good news. Joseph seems very excited about the trip, which makes Emma even more excited.

       She spends that entire week counting down the hours until they leave. On Friday at 8:26 AM when Mr. Thompson’s silver Tahoe pulls up to Emma’s house, it finally feels real to her. She is a bit nervous (she has butterflies), but she could not wait to spend the weekend at the beach. Emma is wearing my Silver Torch Cactus shirt for good luck. The Thompsons walk up to the Finkley’s front door, and Emma and Joseph’s parents introduce themselves. Joseph picks up Emma’s bag, puts it in the back of the car, and then they are off.

       During the two-hour car ride from Raleigh to Wrightsville, Joseph and Emma tell jokes and stories while his mom gives his dad directions. Joseph tells Emma about watching turtle eggs hatch at the beach with his family. Emma tells him about some of her adventures visiting my uncle in Chicago every summer. In this moment, Emma Finkley feels like a normal teenager. She thinks to herself, “Joseph does not treat me any differently just because I have autism. He treats me like I am the most remarkable girl in the world.”

       When they arrive in Wrightsville, Emma marvels at the beauty of Joseph’s aunt’s house. The outside is painted olive green (Emma’s first favorite color). They go inside and unpacked their things in their rooms. Then, Joseph and Emma set out for the beach. It is a chill morning, so Emma throws on a sweater over her lucky shirt. They sit on beach chairs and talk and talk about anything that came to mind. They could not stop laughing. “I’m not sure if it is my shirt or what, but I feel really lucky,” Emma thinks.

       The weekend is filled with walks on the beach and lots of pizza. Joseph and Emma realize that they both love sausage pizza and do not like to eat the crust. On Sunday morning, Joseph and Emma walk down to the beach to watch the sunrise. They sit on a gray and white striped Afghan blanket and drink hot black coffee out of “I Love Wrightsville” mugs. The sky looks like a watercolor painting. “I don’t want to leave here,” Emma says to Joseph. “I have never had such a fun weekend in my life. This place feels like paradise.”

       He replies, “You are my paradise, Fink. I have loved getting to know you better this weekend. Will you be my girlfriend?” After she gets over the initial shock and excitement, Emma immediately agrees. He looks into her smiling eyes and leans in to kiss her.

       The butterflies in Emma’s stomach are going absolutely crazy. For about an hour, the two sit there soaking in the beautiful scenery and enjoying each other’s presence. When Joseph’s watch strikes eight, they pick up the blanket and coffee mugs and head back to the house to eat breakfast. After eating our scrambled eggs, bacon, and whole wheat toast, we pack our bags and head back to Raleigh. Like those coffee mugs, Emma, too, loves Wrightsville.

       When Emma goes back to school on Monday, she cannot wait to tell Leslie, Lindsay, and Amanda about her weekend in Wrightsville with Joseph and his family. At lunch, she tells them all about the sunsets, sunrises, pizza, and walks on the beach.

       “That seems like so much fun,” Amanda says.

       “And… Joseph asked me to be his girlfriend,” Emma adds. It feels surreal to her to say that she had a boyfriend

       “Oh my gosh, Emma! That is so exciting. I’m so happy for you,” Leslie squeals. The three are genuinely happy for her. Everything seems to be falling in to place for Emma Finkley.

       Later that day, Emma writes in her diary: “Thanks to third period English, I now have three best friends (Leslie, Amanda, and Lindsay) who introduced me to gardening club. Thanks to gardening club, I now have the sweetest boyfriend in the world, Joseph. The past few months have taught me a lot. I learned that sometimes you have to work hard to get to where you want to be in life. Nothing comes easy. Sometimes you have to prick yourself to realize that you can really do this. Thanks to Gram Gram, I learned to persevere and not give up. If you prick yourself, learn to patch it up and keep moving. Love, Emma.”